Know the ropes: bong etiquette 101


Throughout the hazy ages bong smokers have always had a few rules in place to keep the session going smoothly. These rules can be spoken or unspoken depending on the adherent’s ability to just that – adhere by the rules.

But, just in case you’ve forgotten how to handle your beaker bong sesh, we will reiterate the rules as a source of reference for when you need to prove a point to someone who just doesn’t want to get it through their smoky heads.

  1. Don’t hold the mic

Sure, everyone wants to hear the story that you think is hilarious, and we might even find it hilarious, too. But be sure of one thing – you don’t have to hold onto that bong whilst you’re telling the story!

We understand that you have got wrapped up in some tale about some party you went to three years ago, and that you may have forgotten that you’re holding the bong in the process, but this doesn’t mean you should continue to hang onto the bong.

Everyone wants a turn – pass and regale – that’s the way to go.

  1. He who supplies gets first prize

First prize, in this instance, is first bong off the rack. Naturally, if someone has gone out of their way to purchase the herb and spend good money on it, then it is only fair that they have first dibs on the bong.

If, for example, a few of you have gone, say, thirds in some herb, then the one who goes first is he/she who went to the trouble of grinding all that herb down into a fine, smokable material.

You may choose to allow the person who supplies the smoke spot with the first bong – this is fine – but I personally think it is good form to hand it to the one who chopped the micka.

  1. Hand it to the left

No one knows the logic as to why one hands the bong to the left upon finishing a cone, but it’s just fine etiquette. Why? Because it encourages the bong to be handed in the same direction so that everyone gets a fair go and so no one misses a turn.

  1. Consider your hygiene

This is especially so in “this” day and age, but if you think you might have something nasty crawling around your system then, hey, maybe it’s best to consider staying home for a mix?

Nobody wants to go for a few bongs at their friends house only to wake up with some nasty virus, and they will probably know it was you by the way you were sniffing and snorting and just looking all generally unwell.

  1. Clean your bong

Bong host – clean your bong. There is nothing ranker, even to the most seasoned of smokers, than a filthy old bong. All that dirty residue rolling around the chamber, stem, cone piece etc. is just really unpleasant.

You know it, we know it – clean that bong at least on the odd occasion.

  1. Replace broken bong

If you happen to be the unfortunate soul who had a few too many cones, went to stand up and accidentally knocked that bong onto the tiled floor then, unfortunately for you, you are the one who must replace said broken bong.

It’s just the same rule that runs if you break anything that belongs to someone else. If you break your mate’s bong then you have to pay for that bong.

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